New Slate

Yesterday I had a positively horrible attitude about everything. Yes, it was stress-laden, and busy, but I had volcanic anger that I was struggling to compose. Do you ever have days when everything just sets you off? It takes all you have to keep it under the wraps.

Here is a brief list of things that happened

Woke up later than normal
No time to workout
Trafficky freeway driving
House cleaning
Apartment tidying
lunch?

Busy day at work, everyone was stressed-out, lectured on something, incessant phone calls, last minute things
Rush home to change
More traffic
Missed seeing hubby before I left for BSF
traffic
Starving, grabbed Subway for dinner, ate quickly in the car

BSF -
Ushering
group time
Ushering again
Lecture on God's Wrath (Romans 1)

9 pm, back in the car to finally go home
See my hubby, cry and vent
chocolate run to Sonics for a milkshake
watched two episodes of The Office
Sleep

Now, this was just a good and full day. I had a hard time with my emotions, as Nancy Wilson puts the phrase, "your slip is showing" > yep, my slip was definitely showing. I don't do well when someone lectures me. I feel like an idiot and want to sob. What a pathetic attitude/ quite childish. I pray that God would work that right out of my system. I need to be chastized and lectured, how else will I know how to improve in my job performance? It just seems like it always comes when I am at a weak point. I guess that is where I need to lay my sword down and just say "I give up", "I will be taught".
I had road rage yesterday - there must have been an angel over my car and others' - i seriously feel ill at how I reacted. I pray for deliverance from this manic disease.

My legs were crampy because I didn't get to the gym. No excuse, I could have walked around more and taken a little break here and there at work to stretch.

Ushering was hard. Again, I need patience and grace. My heart was so bitter - I pray for kindness and a tender spirit.
Haven was sweet to listen to me vent but I feel bad about that. I kept on going on and on about it, failing to realize that he too had had a hard day. I wasn't encouraging at all & I need to confess that.
So, this probably sounds like I dragged you into a confessional booth. It just really helps to write out these struggles. When I confront them in public, maybe I can encourage others. I will post on the BSF lecture later tonight - it was convicting after the day I had.

I am a wretch - Thank you Lord for Your forgiveness, and this new day, wiped clean, a NEW SLATE ~