Words

What do you say when there seems like nothing you can say? How do you relate to someone who is going through something that you have never gone through?
Life is so intricate - We are surrounded by people who face different things daily. But when the closest ones hurt - you hurt too. . .
Its been a hard day - I cried a lot, I wish my arms could stretch across a couple thousand miles & then some. . . and comfort one of the dearest people to me. . .
I am not questioning God, I know that He has had a plan, I know that He teaches His people through hard situations. But when the wound is fresh, you cannot help but grieve. . .
God of all Peace and Comfort, be near to us this day and always.

Tremors

Do you ever look at your life now and ask yourself,"how in heaven did I get here?"
I am having a week like this, in wonderment of where I am now. There was a point when I thought that I would never get to college. There was a point when I thought I would never graduate. The yearning for a relationship was overwhelming, but I never thought I would ever get there. I never thought I would be living fulltime in Texas, I never thought I would be married at 23. Gee, how things do change.
Life goes so nicely unplanned, doesn't it? We can't plan it out, it is (and excuse the phrase) a 'God thing', most definitely.
The picture above is of my newly graduated cousin and best friend, Kirsten (Wheaton alum!). She is now in a new phase of life, and there are some bumps in the road to smooth out. I feel it all over again, though I think that I am beginning to be more settled into life.
Life is such a journey ~ I am learning more and more to praise God for the uncertainty, and the changes that rock us. Its hard to say it when you are undergoing the life earthquake, but when you look back, you just feel tremors. . .

"Life is what Happens when you are busy making other plans". . .

life

Its time to get this post on the road. . .
I am back from Chicago - Kirsten is a graduate- woohoo! Family times rock > I am so glad that I got to see cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles.
Haven and I got a good taste of being apart as "marrieds". . . & I don't really recommend it ;) A bed is not the same without your spouse in it! Ironically, I did not sleep very well at all on my own!
It is good to be home again, though the heat is up ten notches - I am so happy to be cooking in my own kitchen again, sleeping in my own comfy bed, and being with my hubby!
Work went well today - staff meeting got moved to today so the day flew by. . .
Haven bought tiks to Moscow for June! Woohoo! Our checkbook is looking quite slim these days though; good thing I have plenty of mac & cheese in the pantry ;) Half the fun in being newlyweds is living from paycheck to paycheck, right?

I've got the sleepies . . .

But I am staying awake to be a good blogger :)

It dawned on me that I will be gone this weekend, and my husband will be helpless. . . I am trying to think up some leftovers and things he can scrounge for. I am really excited about going to Chicago, and yet, its not often that I travel and sleep alone now.
I think we are both going to survive fine :)
I am having withdrawals already! :(

Well, my BSF class is winding down to two more weeks. . . I cannot believe that we have covered the whole book of Genesis in depth! Its been such an awesome study to be a part of, and I have met so many wonderful, godly women through this. When we first moved here, I was quickly aware of how much I missed fellowshipping with other likeminded women. In college, that was an everyday thing, here, I had to seek it out. . . and I surely found it :)

Goodness

Sabbath Day ~
My hubby is lying on the floor, reading the comics & nursing his sore back with the heating pad. Poor guy.
I am pleased that last night turned out alright. I tired out a new recipe on our company - chicken/sausage pasta. Turned out pretty well.
I made apple streudel muffins for breakfast and 'golden lasagna' for lunch later.
Yay for being domestic :) I think I might have gone to culinary school in another life. . .
Happy Sunday to you all - its a lovely day to celebrate with God's people!

climbing up

Been quite a while since I posted something. It feels like everything happened over that amount of silent space.

We found a car, a nice '94 Camry LE, with lower miles and a completely rebuilt engine. We bought it from a repair guy who gave us a warranty and service deals at his shop. We handed over the keys to our fogue and drove our new wheels home.

I sent an email to dad recently to update him on how Haven and I were doing. It had been some time since I last wrote to him. This past Monday, he wrote me back, and I feel like he is denying me a relationship with him. He seemed to no longer acknowledge me as his daughter, but told me that he will always love me. I just don't understand. . . I have been accused of his hurt, which stings the most. I know that I am not the one to blame. Its just hard. There was a time for tears on Monday - Tuesday woke brighter. . .
The week is almost over. I am more hopeful now. Life goes on.

Patience

This is not what I am good at, what I lack, what needs to change in me most . . .
This year has been full of lessons for me to learn - it seems it all funnels down to this one thing that I still am struggling with. When will I 'get'it? I think that God sends us things to keep working in our stubborn hearts till we finally understand.
Okay, so I surrender now. I am wholly unable to be patient and trusting on my own sheer will power. My weakness is transformed by Your strength, O Lord.

Please make me patient

Stuffy

Allergies? Can this be the reason my head pounds? Please tell me why aleve is not working yet? Decongestion stuff is what I need - oh, and sleep too.
Today was full of adventures. Out of the ordinary was the the agenda. Mar and I ended up passing the hours at work talking about life as we know it. I spent some time reflecting on a recent letter that I sent to dad too. I am waiting for him to come back from his vacation to read it. . . anticipation makes me twitch . . .

The days are growing warmer here - it is taking the night longer to cool off - can summer already be here?


Well, we didn't buy that accord - I am kind of glad that things went the way they did too - It was a hard day - we worked through a lot of issues that day . . . marriage has its ups and downs, but it is still the best thing ever. . .

Gonna let this wind fly me to the Moon . . .

Breeze, strong, fresh and slightly cool - sweeping the sunset from the sky, but the stars are kept in place by their own tough willpower. . .
Delighted by the evening - dinner was on Chipotle, entertainment provided by Pottery Barn and Whole Earth. Company was with a quite handsome man :)

Tomorrow we are going to trade in the fogue for a '96 accord. I am excited, the time seems very right to do this, and we both feel a peace about it.
Easter comes this Sunday - what a good day it will be, to fellowship with our precious church, and then feast with our dear family afterward. . .

The joy just keeps on coming . . .

sweet

Uncertainty lends itself to fear, and yet, at some point, that fear gives way to the peace that wraps itself around it. Peace strangles fear.

Last night, I laid my head in his lap and we talked about our goals, our new budget with my income, and all the things we wish for this year. All things are possible through Him. I look at what He has already done for us and I cannot be but amazed. Its all Him. From the start of all this & until the end. . .

journey

I am relishing this delightfully cool & soft morning. I just joined the gym, and I feel like I have accomplished something :) Funny, because I have not even worked out there yet!
Last night came to a peaceful resolve. I realized how far I have wandered away from God. I kept running and then I stumbled. He caught me again. I fought, I wrestled, I kicked at His will. He held me fast, He would not let me go. He soothed all these fears, and wrestled me down to my knees.
A renewed joy comes in the morning after nights like these. There is a new hope to begin again, to make changes, to seek God. I am still learning how to live, one baby step at a time.

Bright

~ The sun is hanging high overhead, new day is well underway. Welcome Monday - I am already finished grocery shopping and cleaning for the day. I am almost ready for work, just did my BSF lessons. Discovered a new web radio network, and window shopped through Target's candle collection.
I am happy today - today is payday, today its spring, today I have gotten a lot done, today is bright.

Because I felt like it . . .

"ABC Survey":

A is for age:] 23

[B is for booze of choice:] vanilla vodka & Kahlua (mmmm . . gimme a white russian baby!)

[C is for career:] wifey, future mommy

[D is for your dog's name:] future dog - Duke, black lab

[E is for essential items you use everyday:] perfume, makeup, deoderant, lotion, shampoo, conditioner, hairspray, hair shine spray, toothpaste, etc. .. etc. . .
[F is for favorite song at the moment:] "Landed" - Ben Folds

[G is for favorite games:] Scrabble nerd, checkers, life
Basketball - Spurs fan

[H is for Home town:] scotts valley, california

[I is for instruments you play:] piano

[J is for favorite juice?:] cranberry

[K is for kids?:] 5 or 6 munchkins- Lordwilling

[L is for last hug?:] from the hubby

[M is for marriage:] oh yeah!!!

[N is for the name of your last 3 ex's :] let's see, I gave up counting when Johnny Depp rejected me. . .

[O is for overnight hospital stays:] none

[P is for phobias:] being rejected

[Q is for quote:] "life is what happens when your'e busy making other plans."
[R is for biggest regret:] sheesh

[S is for status:] married

[T is for time you wake up:] when I can't sleep any longer/when my body rebells against me.

[U is for underwear:] yes, I do wear it

[V is for vegetable you love:] cherry tomatoes - I pop 'em like m&m's

[W is for worst habit:] being selfish

[X is for x-rays you've had:] my hip, my left foot

[Y is for yummy food you make:] chicken alfredo, garlic mashed potatoes, chocolate cake, cinnamon rolls, chicken salad.

[Z is for zodiac sign:] cancer - crabby crab, dang it

gladness

This is a day of joy and thankfulness. Heavy hearts have been lifted, and spirits are grateful. Today, Charlie was released from the hospital, and is doing so much better.
Work was more relaxing and my shoulders were finally loose of the strain of these past two days. Good news is like sweet honey to your lips; you can't stop spreading your joy and smiling.

short take

There is a Greater power than any one can ever muster, and in this power, tonight I am overwhelmingly grateful...
Many of you already know that my stepdad is in the hospital because he suffered a mini strike earlier this evening. Things are alright for now, he is resting and stable. We have a circle of love praying for him tonight.
Sometimes I can't believe the goodness of the Lord over us during the hard times. Life is so precious, as the Psalmist put it, "my life is in Your hand".
In this, there is great comfort, there is great peace and assurance. The Lord is merciful and loving. He is our Rock and Stronghold. He will never leave us, nor forsake us. . . Thanks be to God.

Slow but Surely

I love the lyrics of this song. Lately, I have been struggling with doubt, with fear of the unknown, and this song by Downhere popped into my head.
Last night, we prayed in faith to the Most High God, who was the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, Who sent His Son for us, Who delights to save His children, Who forgives us of our sins, Who grants us faith and freedom, Who loves us. We prayed for His will, for their is much before us now, and the only way that it can ever be done is through His power.



I knew the times would come and now the times have landed
With stinging abrasion As ready as I seem to be
It’s never like I planned it, yeah

I’m wrestling my thoughts I’m overcome
Would you give me up I’m asking Lord
There’s no where I sense Your presence here
So I will cry out, until I go

From Protest to praise
You’re always amazing me
You’re changing me slow, but surely
And You’re gonna see me to the end

How long will I be forgotten by You forever
You’re not making sense here
Seems like eternity has made a home between us, yeah

You’re changing me slow
I just can’t help but see it that way
Cuz You’re gonna see me to the end

Azul la Jolla

Home Sweet Home . . .
Home is where your comfortable bed is, where the gas is cheaper, where you live out of a dresser and closet instead of a suitcase.
The trip was lovely. San Diego was dressed in her best ~ sunshine and sea :) The wedding was beautifully set at a courtyard at a restaurant that overlooked the ocean. We visited Coronado Island after the wedding. That was a treat - I wish that we had had enough time to go to the zoo and some other places. But we were so glad to get back to San Antonio.
I am trying to get myself together again, unpack and get back into routine. I should take a walk or a run to get my blood pumping. I will try to post more later.

Chill

Temperatures dropped again. I just went grocery shopping, regretfully in my flip flops - now I have 'toesicles' with sparkly red tips. I gathered needed items quickly and then proceeded to the "10 Items or less" line. The checker was chatty little thing. She took her time as she explained how she was different than the other checkers - she actually believed in carrying on conversations with them, rather than smugly running through their items and then their check number/visa card. I think she just liked the opportunity to talk.
Anyway.
We watched "the Constant Gardener" last night, thinking that it might be a good movie . . Bigtime disappointment. It dragged for a long time, and somewhere along the line, probably at the beginning, the plot was lost in the flood of emotion. We recently saw "Crash" as well. Very intriguing and much better than the last night's.
Well, its now midweek - I am grateful. I am sort of tired already. We leave on Friday for San Diego. It will be a nice bitty vacation for us. My cousin is getting married and I am really happy that she finally found a relationship that she could settle down in.
Gotta tidy my closet - ta ta.

nouveau jour

Mornings are always more beautiful after the rain. Last night, a storm covered the sky, and brought down the branches to the earth. Rain came down, hard and relentless. This morning, the earth is thankful. Renewed by the water and kissed by the sun. The air is crisp and heavenly to breathe, and I am skipping through the puddles.
Yesterday was truly a day of rest, as it should be. There was no Sunday school, so we enjoyed a leisurely breakfast and read the paper from front to back. After church, we tried out a Greek restaurant for lunch ~ it was pretty good. We went to Walmart and bought a glue gun so I could fix our front wreath. I glued the flowers on while hubby framed our ocean picture.
Things are settling more and more, as our apartment is looking quite pleasant. The living room looks calmly toward our dining room, where the new picture hangs. Its neat to see that the picture has all of the colors in our house (minus our red, white and black kitchen).

I really want to post it on here but my uploading pictures thing isn't working . . . blah. Here's the link. . .
http://ici1.storesontheweb.com/cgi-bin/catpage.cgi?Section=MarieGabrielle&Item=RockyPointUnframed&StoreDirName=MadeInSantaCruz

day

Thursday is now gone and past, and I am up with the new day . . . I might credit this to the soda I was sipping while I was cooking dinner. Oh well. It always works so nicely with writing posts :)
I am quite satisfied with the way that things turned out today (ever have that feeling, when you feel so full up and splendid that you could sigh?). At work, I learned the filing system, and sorted out the projects into their designated spaces. I cleaned my deskspace and fiddled with my computer there. I have a work email account now, as well as a new growing vocabulary of construction-related terms and procedures. Its such a fascinating environment. Marlene has proved to be a kick in the pants too . . . I drove home happy and somewhat oblivious to the traffic.
I made a mozzerella chicken alfredo and pasta twirls dish tonight - tasted pretty good. I mixed together some olive oil, salt and pepper, italian blend seasonings, onion powder, and a minced garlic clove in a skillet of chopped chicken - I added some minced green peppers, and then some shredded mozz cheese and then let it cook on medium heat. In another pan, I made up the alfredo sauce from a mix, and then stirred it all together in the pan of pasta. . . yummy good. . . it would have been great with french bread, but I used that up the other night when I made french bread pizzas . . .oh well.
Okay, Amy go nigh nigh . . . bon nuit mes amies. . .