Nightblindness

Mmm . . . my mother-in-law just sent me a delicious looking recipe for Austrian Pancakes. . . I think that I may make them tomorrow for breakfast. (and M2, if you are reading this, thank you!)
I am contemplative tonight. How can you be really contemplative if you aren't really thinking about anything though? I just really want to have some sort of fountain to dip into tonight. I think that the well is dry though. I am a little empty. Life is calm, which is so wonderful. I feel like there is peace and that there aren't any conflicts right now. This seems odd, because usually there is always some sort of a conflict that is burdening my mind. The only thing that could cause me to be at an unrest is dad. And yet, I am sorrowful but not paralyzed by it. What he does doesn't stun me anymore. He will do what he will do, and I am not going to let that cripple me anymore. But I really don't want to talk about dad right now.
What is the will of God for me right now? I ask that often, because somedays I feel so useless. I am waiting for some answers, but this it is getting to the point when I am just plain tired of the waiting period. I know that this is not the attitude that I should be cultivating. Look at Abraham and Sarah, and how they waited for the Lord to open Sarah's womb. He was faithful. He gave them Isaac. Oh how I want an "Isaac answer". I am not fighting it. I am always so grateful for the way that the Lord works, even if I cannot seem to understand it at the time. You might say that this is a time of "wrestling" though.
Nighttime brings such doubt in my mind. But then the morning comes, and clears the shadows and blinds the fear. Then you feel the hope like the sun on your back.