I love stars. I guess I live in the right place then, Texas being the "Lonestar State". Basically, I love anything that twinkles :) diamonds, stars, lights, silver, crystal, reflections, prisms, geods, etc., etc.
We were at La Cantera last night, and all the Christmas lights and stars made me go ga-ga.
Gosh, this week went by so fast . . . and all the better for you, m'dear. :)
December is quite a month full of everything - Christmas shopping, wrapping, working extra hours perhaps, spending exhorbitant amounts of money, decorating, eating too much, visiting people, battling through traffic, getting stuck in long lines, etc. etc.
I am trying to look beyond Christmas to the New Year. It always appears to be a clean slate. A new year, ready for goals.
In these last weeks of this year, I sort of feel like I am in the "old man". This month seems to bring out the worst in me. I am not going to blame it on a month though - its me. I can be quite a grinch.
But when I think about shedding this 'Grinchy' attitude (basically, the 'old man' in me) and putting on the 'new man' I see how well it connects to the new year. When December comes around, you are usually quite ready to be done with it, wrap it up and file it away. You are ready to make new goals, lose weight, be more organized, get more vacation days, get your tax refunds, etc. etc.
But why do people wait for a new year for some of these things? Why do we wait for the new week to begin diets. I do see how it might be easier to do it like that, but why not start with the rest of the day? If we are going with the diet thing here, ever had a day when you blew it for breakfast and lunch? Buttered waffles & syrupy breakfast followed by a Big Mac and fries at McD's? OOooo, the guilt that follows is relentless. So you throw the whole bag in and waste the rest of the day, not caring, saying, "tomorrow, I will be better". How bout if we are talking about sin though. "Are we to continue willfully sinning?" If we give in to sin once, do we harden ourselves to seeking repentance by saying "oh, well, I will break down at some point", or "eventually, I will be convicted and change."
Are we waiting for a new day, a new week, or a new year to get back on the right track? What about the moment after we realize we are in sin, that moment when we do feel the hand of the Holy Spirit on us, when we are ashamed, like Adam & Eve in the garden of Eden after they had sinned. Do we try to 'hide' from God by delaying our repentance?
Everyday, I see areas where I am struggling and need His aid. I know that these areas could use some help: contentment, patience, lovingkindness, servant-heartedness, self-lessness, discipline, and joy.
I do have many goals in mind for the new year, make no mistake. There are desires for my heart attitude, for my growth in Him, goals for my body, & goals for our future. Some of these things will have to wait on God's timing, like getting into a house, and starting a family. But as far as the heart attitude goes, that can begin
But you gotta do it. . . sigh.
I must finish my Christmas shopping - especially considering the fact that I need to send packages by this weekend. I am beginning to realize how much better I am at online shopping than actually going to the mall. I think I prefer the whole 'stay in my jammies' thing. ;)
Well, here's the real topic for this post - today is my precious mother's birthday - no, I will not disclose her age. Let's just say she is older than 30 and younger than 60, and you can fill in the gaps. I am mad that I can't take her out to lunch today because our work schedules conflict, but she is getting a relaxing massage later and we'll all go out to dinner tonight.
So, if you asked us what we did this past weekend, you might be a little surprised when you hear "Bethlehem".
1. How tacky - all of these are just puke.
2. Far Out
3. Aww
4. Snow? In Texas?
5. Kicks & Giggles
6. Time-Zapper word game
7. I can't figure out who was more embarrassed. . .
8. I am going to be an Auntie soon!!!
9. BlondStar ;)
10. Face Paint
The day is already dragging its feet. I can feel a long one coming on. . . bigcuppacoffee here I come -
I am listening to a really great cd right now - Third Day's "Offerings" - very good praise music to get your day going.
Hmm - that gets me thinking, I should get a Top 10 list going for Christian music sometime. I am sort of skeptical of Christian music, just because it seems such a mixed bag. But when I find a good one, its almost like finding a jewel. Two other groups I can easily recommend right now are Downhere and Switchfoot ( I love their 'Beautiful Letdown' cd).
We saw an excellent movie last week called, "Face the Giants". It is a distinctly Christian film, very wholesome. The Story is about a coach of a highschool football team. Despite all the odds against him, and the failings of the team in times before, he brings them to victory through his change of attitude. Here is a worthwhile article about it.
It was very good and a tearjerker. I was sitting next to my mom and we were a big, black puddle of mascara and tears ;)
Real quick recap.
Yesterday was a little hard - I feel a little 'hormoney' these days and last night ended in a puddle of tears, a little arguement with H, conviction by the Holy Spirit, some painful sanctification, and, well, you get the message.
Something really struck me hard last night - I have often said that I expect (foolishly) immediate results. I know how useless this mindset can be, and still I am in the 'old man' with this one. I was convicted of wanting this so badly in the sanctification aspect. . . immediate sanctification, like put it on high in the microwave and PRESTO, out you come, PERFECT.
Yeah Right.
God has a way unknown to me. Our sanctification is a LIFELONG process. And though I kind of hate that sometimes, I do know that it is for the best. So, onto a new day we go. The happy part of this flyby is that there was a lot of resolution last night.
How lovely are your branches :)
After a yummy Mexican feast, we bundled up and trekked to Walmart to look for a tree. None to be found. . . well, none worth $45 - (last year, if I remember correctly, we found ours for $20). We grabbed some lights and cookie baking essentials and and then ran over to Lowes to look at their selection. I had to laugh because, the way that they had all the trees laid out reminded me of cows tethered in a line at the county fair.
We lifted, twisted, twirled, spread branches, measured, hemmed and hawed & found one that we thought would do the trick. I still don't think that it should have been so expensive - after all, we got one that sort of had a 'flat backside' and some 'bald spots'. But we are all about taking ugly things and making them pretty :)
While we were buying it, a middle-aged couple stood behind us with their two daughters - one was a pre-teeny bopper and the other was about 7. They were making quite a ruckus & the dad caught my eye and said "do you want some kids?" The mom chimed right in (before intervening in a spit-fest the two were having) "they make good slaves". Haven and I 'ha ha'd' and then rapidly walked back to the car, tree in tow. -No siree sir- we would prefer the smaller size :)
Have patience. Relax. Wait on the Lord. Be content in whatever circumstance that you may be in. Trust in His timing. Make the most of this time. Have joy. Hope in the Lord, for He is your strength. Bite your tongue. The Lord is faithful. I think that I have caught myself saying or thinking at least one of these things ten times a day this past week. In a time when I sort of feel like we are at a 'hiccup', in my heart of hearts, I really do desire to please Him in what I am doing/saying/thinking. This may very well not be as manifest on the outside, however. I snap too quickly, I confess.
Sigh.
Life is so mysteriously laid out. He laid out the blueprints far before I was in the womb, before the creation. He knew each event that would happen, He knew how things would play out, one by one. And I still have the attitude of feeling duped. I don't trust Him enough. I will never trust Him enough to be able to actually "trust" Him completely. Does that make sense? I look at the future stupidly. The hopes and dreams are all ordered around when I think that they should happen. What comes of this is a model world of a central "me" with all the aspects of life revolving around me. Selfish.
I am finally sitting down to recap a semi-busy weekend consisting of such things as running errands, babysitting, cleaning, grocery shopping, going crazy in traffic, exploring, fellowshipping, eating, bundling up, etc. etc.
I can't remember the last time I pulled on a pair of sweats and big hoodie to just stay homebound, instead of gymbound. Isn't that weird? Its usually been too warm to get snuggly like this - but its so cold that even my feet are snuggled in slippers. :)
Yesterday, after a morning of coffee with my dear friend, and stocking our fridge and pantry again, H and I set off for a park that we had been interested in checking out for a while. It was somewhat nippy, but I was only too happy to arm up in one of many coats that stuff our overstuffed closet.
So off we went, feeling a little jipped that we had to pay $12 to get in, but did I mention to you that this was a river park? (water being a commodity here, I can see why they might see it as a reason to charge you an arm and a leg and your firstborn child to see it).
I had a lot of fun with the camera this time -
Stairs ~
River Grove~
Hilly Cragg - Craggy Hill~
Barkly Gnarled, Gnarls Barkley ;) ~
Water, on the Rocks ;) ~
Rock, Large in Size~
Fading Colors, Dim Reflections~
Nature's Knots~
"He shall be like a firmly planted tree by the riverside"~
He wants to be a logger~
Contrasts of dark and light~
Haven in Sepia~
Storm-Tossed~
Our cheeks are rosy but comfy cozy are we ;) ~
Its cold. FINALLY. And just in time for the 1st of December. The storm rolled in around 5am this morning - I watched it beat mercilessly at the ginormous gym windows as I beat my fatique to lame music videos. Shortly after I returned home, I discovered that our internet connection wasn't working. Oh well. I think around 10 am, I realized how much I pathetically depend on the internet to clue me in on the latest in everything going on.
Back to being cold - this bundling up business makes me happy. I've decided that I would much rather be cold than hot. I would like to turn off the ac for the season, might that be a possibility now?
Well, we just finished season one of LOST. Huge applauds - we are officially addicted. No, we didn't run out to get the next season yet. You might say that we are practicing self-control, as H reads and I finish a thank you note.
Stay warm :) MMmmm, MMMmmm; HOT- CHOC -OH LOT!!!
I have yet to go one week without being enriched and encouraged by a lecture at BSF. Last night was no exception.
We've moved to Romans chapter 6 this week.
1What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?
2God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?
3Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death?
4Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.
5For if we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also in the likeness of his resurrection:
6Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin.
7For he that is dead is freed from sin.
8Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him:
9Knowing that Christ being raised from the dead dieth no more; death hath no more dominion over him.
10For in that he died, he died unto sin once: but in that he liveth, he liveth unto God.
11Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.
12Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof.
13Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God.
14For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.
15What then? shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid.
16Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness?
17But God be thanked, that ye were the servants of sin, but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you.
18Being then made free from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness.
19I speak after the manner of men because of the infirmity of your flesh: for as ye have yielded your members servants to uncleanness and to iniquity unto iniquity; even so now yield your members servants to righteousness unto holiness.
20For when ye were the servants of sin, ye were free from righteousness.
21What fruit had ye then in those things whereof ye are now ashamed? for the end of those things is death.
22But now being made free from sin, and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life.
23For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
1. How sweet and awful is the place
With Christ within the doors,
While everlasting love displays
The choicest of her stores.
2. While all our hearts and all our songs
Join to admire the feast,
Each of us cry, with thankful tongues,
"Lord, why was I a guest?"
3. "Why was I made to hear Thy voice,
And enter while there's room,
When thousands make a wretched choice,
And rather starve than come?"
4. 'Twas the same love that spread the feast
That sweetly drew us in;
Else we had still refused to taste,
And perished in our sin.
5. Pity the nations, O our God,
Constrain the earth to come;
Send Thy victorious Word abroad,
And bring the strangers home.
6. We long to see Thy churches full,
That all the chosen race
May, with one voice and heart and soul,
Sing Thy redeeming grace.
I was fiddling with my Christmas decor yesterday -
Phase One :)
I am not quite finished yet - I want to place 2 tall red candleholders on each side :)
And, on another 'Christmasy'note, I thought that this was intriguing. . . I don't necessarily agree with everything here, but this was the first I had heard of religious symbolism in the song.
Here are a a few snaps from these past couple of days. . . Em has some missing pieces on her site
The Prep: my sink, full of turkey and sweet potatoes
A Turkey: fried, and in all of its un-eaten glory
A Husband: diligently working up an appetite :)
Two Sisters: Sassily sweet little angels
Two bags full of christmas decor are slumped against our coffee table trunk . . . has the season really begun?
I think I was a little dazed and blinded as I made my way slowly through the aisles at Michael's, only interested in finding a plain full, christmas wreath. It took more than 10 minutes to find what I was looking for. . . sans the glittery finish, the pinecones, the frou frou fluffity-doo-dah trimmings. . . I managed to hit some bargains with my own selections of trimmings. I am a cranberry decor fanatic - gold ribbon and cranberry strands are my christmas staples.
And, to not completely buck the Black Friday trend, I hit one store - not the mall, (thank heavens) but Payless shoes where I found an affordable pair of tall black boots. :) And then I promptly went back home to safety from the vicious shoppers. I am being a computer junkie for a while.
H's half day went a little longer than I expected, but he should be home pretty soon. Leftovers are brimming in my fridge. . . extra pie slices are oozing, set atop the stove top. It twas a very happy day indeed. Parts of the family are here for a few days. :)
So, off we go into the Christmas season. I think I would be a little more 'in the spirit' if it was colder. . .oh well :)
Cheers, jingles, ho ho ho's, and all that jazz. . .
Ugghh, Black Friday - Is it really worth it?
Its been one of those busy busy weeks again - I am trying to get myself together to go do some things at the big house for company coming tomorrow. I am so sleepy, I didn't want to get up this morning. . . I just wanted to snuggle and be warm.But somehow, H got shoved out the door with coffee, newspaper & a cooler full of lunch in hand. I made the bed and there will be no more sleep till tonight. :(
Its cold today! I love it when it is cold enough to see your breath - we always called that 'dragon's breath" growing up. The best is when you put an altoid (or a mint of some sort) on your tongue and then breathe in and out - sooo fresh :) - Okay, so I am weird. . .
I should scoot -
Or the paint on your hands, the ache in your shoulders, or bags under your eyes. . .
After finally arriving at the "primer stage", we looked around the dimly lit room and felt somewhat satisfied. It will get there - finished I mean. This is the bedroom that was once occupied by my sibling. Since her absence, the walls have been stripped, the furniture moved. Towels, dropclothes, and plastic coverings make the rugs and carpet. And yes. . .
those walls. Oh where do I begin with those walls.
Plastered and spackled. Grind lightly. Plaster again, dry then plaster once more, grind lightly. This never-ending process to prevent air bubbling in those walls. Paint the primer. . . watch the primer bubble. Strip the primer. Wipe the sweat. Grab the plaster. Scrape and smooth. Grind. Paint primer again. . . so so so carefully.
The end of the week always is fun to see in pictures. . .
We celebrated with a chipotle dinner and an exploration of the new Pro Bass Store northwest of us. To say that it was amazing doesn't seem to do it justice. . . it was quite an experience. We will take anyone who ever visits us there as part of their 'San Antonio tour'.
With bright rays, and golden light . . . Its a jack frost morning. I wish that one Friday would come without the blowers and the weedwackers. It sort of has a way of destroying your peaceful mornings. Oh well. I bundled up and took a walk - legs are stretched and I feel really energized. I finally got sick of my shaggy 'do - so I got it trimmed up again. I suddenly feel lighter :) When I have the money, I need to get some highlights again. Until then, I am my natural self.
I feel happy today, lifted. I feel like the Lord is really giving me peace through all circumstances. I have realized that it takes so much effort to fight the will of God. In fact, its exhausting. Once you give yourself up, He enfolds you in His arms and is your rest. That's when you wonder, 'now why was I fighting this again?'
Because this list made us blue, here's the "good list" for you :)
What a puddle that was. I am sorry for causing some confusion, and maybe some anxiety. I am a lot better today.
Through the BSF lecture last night, through the lesson this morning that I was reading, through encouragement and prayers of others, through the conviction of the Holy Spirit upon my heart, and the peace that God has given me . . . I feel like I am not fretting as much.
Patience is not a strong virtue in me - I only seem to lack it. I thought I was impatient in only a few minor areas - traffic, crowds, long lines, pet peeves, so forth and so on, and the list only kept getting bigger. It became more apparent to me at how I expect an immediacy in solutions and results to these things that vex me - while they are immediately given to me to strengthen my faith in God, and shape my raggedy character.
I've expected immediacy in the small areas, and now its moved to the larger things, where I am at in life, where we are at with our jobs, with relocating, with family, etc. etc. ect.
God's answer has been "Wait". My response has been "Why?"
Do I think my will is better than God's? My actions and heart attitude say so. . . though I know that He has sovereign plans beyond my imagination. He is not dangling them in front of me either, He has promised that He knows the plans for us, to prosper us.
Last night, Nancy spoke on Grace and Sin as two kingdoms. Tyrannical sin only enslaves its inhabitants, but Grace frees. I have felt enslaved to sin. I have felt cowardly and weak. My joy dried up, my hope gone. I forget that sin has already been overcome, by the power of God's grace, "greater than all my sin". He is reminding me, through all these things, that He is in control. My life is not a chaotic mess, there is a purpose to all this. I just see puzzle pieces. He sees the whole picture.
Emptiness. It eats at me today. Yesterday. The day before that.
I am a good liar. My face and words deceive but my heart knows better. The fight for joy seems a losing battle. Everything seems so on hold right now.
I am tired Lord, are You through with me yet? Patience isn't working. Praying is so hard. I am losing sight of what You have promised. I am overwhelmed and anxious.
I look around with digust at where You have put me. Lord, why have You brought me here? I feel so alone here, so unfulfilled, so tempted, so weak. Sin has been my playmate. My heart goes to You unwillingly, heavily. I have scorned Your name. I have dwelled in the shadows. I have not been joyful.
Regardless, You have still blessed me. You have still kept me safe. You have kept me from stumbling headlong into sin and destruction. You have been faithful to me. You have loved me, and I have been unloveable.
I am desperate for You. I cry out to You. Forgive me. Cleanse my heart. Teach me to be patient. Bind Yourself to me. Let me bind my heart to You, that I may never depart again. Be my Joy, my Peace, my Comfort and my Hope.
"and hope does not disappoint"
